Broken Doll
by tentativewriter
Summary: Sarada knows her mama is broken, but now papa is breaking too. Oneshot


Sarada didn't know her mother. Well she did, but she didn't. Her mother was sick, her father had told her many years ago, and she knew he was right. Her mama didn't talk to her, her mama would just sit there and stare at her, she always had a doctor that took care of mama when papa could not. Her papa insisted the she spend an hour with mama every day, he said _please, do it for her._

She listened to her papa, because she did love her mama. Until one day that papa took her to the park and she saw others kids with their mama, and it was not fair. Sarada had been angry then because her mama had always been sick, and from what she had heard the doctors say it was all in mama's head. _Mama does not love me enough to come back to me, mama has never done anything for me_. That's what she yelled at her papa, she was shocked when he slapped her, because papa had never hit her, because she was his most precious person he told her many times, not in words but in actions and even at eight years old she knew this.

Her papa apologized, but it was too late she ran to her room, and no matter how much her papa knocked on her door, she did not come out. After that she no longer visited mama every day, what was the point when mama would not notice? Eventually she no longer went to visit her mama at all. Her papa however kept insisting, _please visit your mama_ , he would say, and Sarada would pretend he said nothing, he never hit her again, but the look her papa gave her was much worse, she would rather he hit her, because every time he asked, he saw it break him a little more.

* * *

When she was younger, papa would tell her stories about mama, about how they met, about how they travelled, about how she used to smile. He was not the only one to tell her stories of her mama, and she would listen to every single one. She remembered thinking her mama was amazing, and when she saw old photographs, she thought _oh how beautiful my mama is_. She would then imagine a world where mama was not sick, where mama would play with her, and where papa would smile.

That dream world would shatter instantly when she visited mama, this mama was not amazing, and while this mama was still beautiful, she was pretty like a broken doll, you could see hints of what she once was, but you could not get past the cracks. On one of her last visits to mama, she decided she hated her mama, for being there, for not being there, for hurting her papa by not coming back, for not being a mama to her.

 _Please, visit your mama_ , he would tell her every day, eventually even her Uncle Naruto asked her to visit mama, but the look her gave her when she said no, was not like papa's, it was angry, it was scary. She had never felt smaller.

* * *

When she was twelve, she heard screaming in the middle of the night. She knew it was mama, she told herself she didn't care, but her mama didn't even speak, why would she scream? Telling herself it was only curiosity getting the best of her, she followed the screaming, peeking through mama's bedroom door, she discovered a mess in mama's room. Papa was holding mama, her screaming slowly stopped, but mama was now sobbing. _They took her, Sasuke they took her,_ her mama was speaking, she could recognize her papa. She could not hear what papa told mama, but she could hear her mama's question _, why haven't I seen her?_ _Are you lying to me? I want to see her._ Her papa was still holding her mama, but he was not talking to mama when he said _I have to clean up before she can come in here, I'll try and bring her tomorrow._

She heard her mama ask her papa if he promised, she didn't hear the answer already on her way back to her room. The next day she could see how tired papa was, he looked like he hadn't slept all night. She knew he spent it in mama's room cleaning the mess she made, and even after he finished she doubted he left her side. That day was the first-time papa didn't ask her to visit mama, in fact that whole day when papa looked at her he looked as broken as mama. Sarada wanted to ask papa, why did you lie to mama, but she knew the answer, she was breaking her papa.

After that day papa worked less and spent more time at home, he would watch mama closely. Besides papa there was always a nurse, day, and night, but still Sarada avoided going to mama's side of the house.

* * *

It was not the first time she heard them arguing about mama, her grandfather and grandmother did not like that mama was in a house without doctors, papa would always say _when I am not here there is a nurse, she is never here alone._ She waited for his normal response, but it never came, instead his answer was different _what am I supposed to do? Lock her away? It has been getting worse since she stopped visiting. Her episodes are more common, she wants to see her, part of her recognizes Sarada. If I keep her here, Sarada can visit her whenever she feels ready, and she will._ There was no confidence in her papa's voice near the end.

A week passed and papa still didn't mention mama to her. By the second week Sarada wanted answers, so she finally asked, _what happened to mama?_ She could see that her papa was hesitating, would he tell her? The silence was overwhelming, and just when she thought papa would not answer, she discovered he was just looking for his words, no she decided when she was older, he was looking for his strength.

She listened to her papa, even when he struggled to find his strength, she listened to the silence when he lost his voice, when he was done he told her, _I will not force you to visit your mama, I will not ask you to do it, the choice has always been yours,_ and with her tears falling, papa said _, and I do not want you to feel guilty for the past, or for the future._

Sarada decided she did not deserve her mama's bravery, that she did not deserve her papa's strength, which is probably why she didn't have those traits. But as she followed her papa to her mama's room, she also decided she did not deserve her mama in general. Her papa knocked on the door, peeked in and said, _Sakura, there is someone who wants to see you. Is it okay to visit?_ Silence was the answer, but papa took it as a yes, and she wondered if there was a time when the silence was a no.

* * *

A/N: Even though Sarada does get older within the story the tone does not change because I wanted it to remain in an innocent state of mind when it came to how she viewed her mom. In this story Sarada was kidnapped when she was very small, and Sakura went after her, but because she was not in the greatest state mind she was tortured to the point of it breaking her.


End file.
